DID Self-Help
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Communication 101

 Communication 101

Communication is vital to the success of a system and exists in many different ways. Every system is different in regards to communication. For some communication already exists or is easily learned. For other’s not so much. Without communication it can be extremely difficult to function together as a system. Yet communication can be fostered and learned as we learned in our system. We know that not everyone is good in the system but we hope that they will agree to helping make the communication easier. You do not have to like them to communicate with them as communication will not only help others but will also help you as well. This can help you communicate your wants and needs more affectively. This article will have two parts. One about having communication between those who are fronting and communication between system members in the innerworld.

Fronting Communication:

Communication in this manner can come in many different ways. The most common you will here of is being co-conscious. This term refers to when two alter are out at the same time. Co-consciousness is gained with trust, specifically from the alter that is fronting to the alter that wishes to front with them. When speaking about co-consciousness you are asking an alter to share their time out with you and have knowledge about what they are doing. Know that this type of communication comes in time and comes with trust. It can be frustrating and feel like it isn’t working but you are making progress. One way of gaining that person’s trust is when you can feel them leaving or if they are saying goodbye to someone, ask them what exactly they did out here and to share only what they are comfortable with. We started this with Sarah, one of our littles. She would tell us all about her adventures out here and that gave us a sense of what happened and what exactly she did. It was fascinating to hear.

Another good way that many recommend is having a system journal that helps the system communicate with each other. Conversations can be had not just through speaking and journal is not only a great way to foster communication but also a good way to keep organized, if journaling is your thing. There are also several apps that you can download to create text conversations. By having conversations with your system in whatever way you can will help the awareness of who fronted and what exactly went on. Yet, not everyone wishes to have co-consciousness when they are out. We tend to solve this by asking the person what they did while they were out or checking in every so often to make sure that things are going ok. If a little or someone wishes to come out we always will give them heads up as to what is going on and if there is anything we need to do. Note that one alter is not the most important alter when it comes to fronting. Make sure the timing is right and make sure that they are allowed to come out, if they meet both of those categories than there is no reason as to why they shouldn’t be allowed out.

Intersystem Communication:

Creating system communication can be possible, but can be difficult. In this section we are going to look at how to create system communication for large systems and small systems. We welcome you to read both sections as different points may apply to you. If you have any rulers, gatekeepers, protectors or alters of that sort we recommend that they read this section as this may make more sense to them.

Large systems:

In order for system communication to in large system all parties need to work together and agree to maintain communication. Communication doesn’t have to only be verbal. We have a system-wide emailing system and a website so people can easily bring up issues they are having. We make sure that these tools are inclusive to all disabilities as the deserve to have their voices heard as much as those who aren’t. Our gatekeepers, protectors, rulers, etc. are always in constant communication with everyone in order to get their jobs done. As head gatekeeper, if I did not have communication, our system would not be able to function the way it does today. I always remind myself that those who respect me do so for a reason and it is my job to maintain that level of respect.

Please note that any of the suggestions that are brought up are changes that may take a while to actually work for the system as working on affective communication can be very tricky with the vast array of opinions that exist. Understand that the variety of opinions are valid and come from something but we also understand that for large systems, getting everyone’s opinion on the matter can be very tricky. So, we recommend getting the opinions of protectors, gatekeepers, rulers, gods, etc. As they can get a feel for what the people they look after want or need. Communication comes in many different ways. As the main gatekeeper it is my job to look after the system and make sure they are maintaining and upholding all the laws. I must make sure that all of the laws are easily accessible and easy to navigate. A system database is vital to our success. We also make sure that system members sign a written contract to show that they will abide by the universal laws of the system. That way I can be sure that the rules were affectively communicated to them. Communication can be exceedingly tricky to figure out but feel out your system and do what works best for you.

Small systems:

For small systems communication can be tricky but you can still cultivate communication in a smaller system. You can set up an email system, mail system or a database that allows the system to talk to each other without having to leave their home. If your system is ok with holding weekly or monthly meetings we suggest that. It gives system members to bring up issues that they may feel are better addressed in person. It may seem mundane but it may help your system work through problems. Working through problems and communicating is vital to a systems success. Communication isn’t obtained in an instant but it is a journey that is well worth it. Listening to your system on what they wish to gain out of communication is definitely worth it and makes sure that their voices are heard.

A blue poster that says “A system, must work together to be successful and flourish. In the heart of that is communication. Communication ensures that everyone has a voice and is heard. Big or small their voice matters. Giving them a chance to communicate and have a say in the system gives them a chance to flourish.”

A blue poster that says “A system, must work together to be successful and flourish. In the heart of that is communication. Communication ensures that everyone has a voice and is heard. Big or small their voice matters. Giving them a chance to communicate and have a say in the system gives them a chance to flourish.”