Self- Care 101
Self-care is the act of taking care of oneself. The act of doing something positive for yourself. But, what qualifies as self care and how can you implement the idea that you deserve self-care and also that you can do self-care. It starts with this, your mental health. Whatever co-morbid conditions you may have along with DID all have an impact on your ability to take care of yourself. For example, we struggle with self care. We struggle to be kind to ourselves. Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, etc. all factor into how anyone takes care of themselves. Some days are definitely easier than others, some days are a struggle just to even get out of bed, some days you just don’t want to tale care of yourself because you feel you deserve it. No matter the reason, it is valid. No two people are exactly the same. Now this gets even more complex when looking at DID and how self care is impacted between various alters. Personally, from our system, some are better at self care than others and it shows.
So. what qualifies as self care? Anything really that helps you such as brushing your hair, taking a shower, drinking some water, eating some food, getting out of bed, taking your meds, etc. These are just a few examples but anything that you do to positively affect your life is self-care. Cutting someone out of your life because all they do is bring you down is self-care. Self-care comes in all different forms but whatever you do helps. Even if your self-care for the day is drinking some water and watching your favorite tv show. Well, congrats! Celebrate what you have done! But, let’s go over some ways that can help in implementing self-care into your life. Things we should also listen to. It’s advice for all.
Try to do one thing a day.
By trying to do one thing a day you are implementing a routine that will hopefully get easier with time. If you consciously remember to do one thing at a time than it is forcing you to remember that you deserve to take care of yourself. Realistically as dissociation is a part of DID we tend to forget, it may be best to write it down in a phone or whatever you use to remember things. That way you can always know that it is something that needs to get done. From personal experience, it can feel like a chore but it’ll all be worth it in the end.
Celebrate what you did for the day.
By celebrating, you are reinforcing positive connections with self-care. By doing something kind for yourself you are still taking care of yourself but in a way that is helping build you up. It is a good way to be kind to yourself and to treat yourself with the same respect as you treat others. By showing positivity towards yourself you are highlighting the good things you have done and continue to do for yourself. Any accomplishment is worth celebrating.
Be kind to yourself.
Implementing self-care can be very difficult. You may not feel that the self care that you are doing is enough. You may feel that what you do will never be enough. It can feel like that and we sometimes feel like that as well. It is not easy being kind to yourself but try and remember this, you have survived so much to get to this point. You are alive and well and deserve self-respect and self-love.
Take a break from any toxic people or toxic apps.
By leaning into your surroundings and disconnecting from the negativity it can help your mental health improve. We find that by leaving our phone and ignoring it, it helps us connect more with the world and with our partner. Taking a break from toxic people and apps is vital to self-care as those things will only make you feel worse. Focus on some things that you know may make you feel better. If you don’t know of anything, than experiment. Try many things and see if you like any of them. When you take a break you are looking out for yourself
Remove toxic people and apps from your life.
Now this one can be very hard and can be tricky. You may not be at a point where you can get rid of the toxic people in your life so this may not work best for you currently. For those that can though, it is important that you do. Surround yourself with people who care about you, who will tell you when you are wrong but will build you up and be there for you when you need it most. Also, blood doesn’t define family. There is a term we like to use called chosen family. You have the power to choose who you consider family. It can be friends, aunts, uncles, parents, etc. But, you should never feel as though you just have to accept toxic people as family because you are related to them. Surround yourself with family that accepts you for who you are and loves you as you are. This is one of the most important things of self-care. You are amazing and awesome and those awful people don’t deserve you. Deleting toxic apps is important. Now for those that don't use apps this doesn’t apply but for those that do this is important. Now it may not be the whole app, just the toxic parts of the app. But by looking at that negativity constantly, it is harmful to your mental health.
We understand that not all of these tips will work for you but we hope to shed some light on how self-care is vital to your mental health and the health of your system. We still struggle with self-care and are still striving to take care of ourselves. We truly hope that this article helps you in establishing self-care and hope that it shows that you are worth it and amazing.
-The Infinite System