When we first found out we had DID we were scared, hurt and didn’t know how we could have not known about this. How could someone not know that they have alters. We didn’t know where to turn or who to trust. So, we listened to Sarah, a little of ours and observed her. Observed what she did and saw that she was just a goofy kid. She loved spending time out and being herself. We understood that she was looking for us to trust her. Trust in a system is paramount from the very beginning of discovery. Without trust, nothing else can happen. This is a trauma disorder and many if not all alters need trust before they can reveal themselves to you. Whoever came to you, is here because they think you are ready. Ready to trust them and to listen to them. By giving this alter trust, you are letting others in the system know that they can trust you as well. But, what then happens if the first person you meet is hurtful.
We met, Trevor when he was confused and hurt. He would lash out at us and my partner. He disliked people and thought that all they would ever do is hurt them. By figuring out what was going on, we were able to help him learn to trust others. It is paramount that you figure out why they are the way that they are. They may have an underlying reason as to why they are doing the things they are. We know it is scary and overwhelming but talking to them as human shows that you care about them and what they have to say. Trusting you system is one of the most important things that you can do to start your healing. They are there to help you figure all of this out. Lean on them, they are there for that.